COMFORT EQUALS CONFIDENCE: so never wear brand new shoes on a first date – unless you’re after the sympathy vote by limping like Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy!
Both sexes should definitely avoid six-inch stiletto heels and although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend turning up wearing your cosy carpet slippers do remember that blistered feet really hurt like hell and only poets need look anguished.
In fact I don’t recommend wearing any brand new clothes especially if you’ve optimistically bought a size too small.
As a general rule if the garment leaves a red welt around your waist it doesn’t fit and there’s nothing quite as unsavoury as a belly protruding from between shirt-buttons. A zipper you can’t re-fasten after a trip to the restroom can at best lead to embarrassment.
The current fashion for wearing designer’s labels on the outside of a garment is fine but having the price tag in full view smacks of carelessness. Save some mystery for second date and then, when you’re more certain of the investment potential, you can if you must, splurge a week’s salary on cute designer socks.
Initially steer clear of religion, politics and Michael Jackson.
CONVERSATION: can at first feel a little awkward which is another reason I like restaurants. At least you can discuss the menu, especially if it’s slightly pretentious even if it is only to exclaim, “Pan-fried scallops! Really! I mean, cereal-bowl fried scallops just doesn’t work, does it?” Other reasonably good ice-breakers are general compliments, current movies and, if you live somewhere like the UK, the weather. Initially steer clear of religion, politics and Michael Jackson.
Please minimise the topic of your ex whatever the cause of the break-up might be. There’s many a date been ruined by comments like, “Oh, you’re having the lasagne! My deceiving, manipulating, drop-dead-gorgeous ex made the most wonderful pasta!” If you really find that you can barely utter a sentence without referring to that bitch who over-watered my geraniums or that pig who ran off with my step-mother’s hairdresser then perhaps you’re not quite ready to date again.
COURTESY: may seem an old-fashioned concept but all it costs is a tiny bit of effort and a bit of cosseting can certainly add to the enjoyment of the evening whatever the outcome. Thus be punctual, make some sort of genuine compliment to begin with but don’t go over the top. It’s sufficient to say, “Great to meet you. What a lovely jacket!” Don’t do, “Goodness, what fabulous eyes you have; your beauty is equal to that which launched a thousand ships” unless you’re either Italian or masquerading as Red Riding Hood’s grandmother.
Even if love fails to blossom you might just make a new friend.
Whilst your own style will determine your etiquette, basic table manners make for a pleasant atmosphere. It’s frightfully impolite to flirt with the waiting staff however dreary your date may seem and if you really feel that there is absolutely no way you’d want to see them again then the “do unto you would be done unto” mantra is just pure kindness.
Finally, don’t take yourself too seriously and try to keep calm about the whole experience. A couple of hours out of the house is a positive step and even if love fails to blossom you might just make a new friend. At least you’re reassured that you’re not the only unattached soul in the city and, you never know, you might just subtly score with the maître d'.
