How are you feeling about this imminent first date? Excited, apprehensive or totally blasé because it’s really no big deal – just spending time with a prospective soul-mate? Although, if you’re bothering to read this I guess you might not be as relaxed as you’re pretending!
A basic no-no has to be not taking your mother along. Mums are great but have an unnerving instinct for causing the sort of embarrassment only surpassed by seven year old kid brothers and parole officers! Whatever your situation allow neither relatives nor even your best pal Felix (humanoid or feline) to cross the threshold – they can drop you at the corner of the street. Save them all as a (pleasant?) surprise for later.
it really is best to avoid graveyards at night, deserted underground car-parks, anywhere derelict and your grandmother’s living room.
You should choose to meet at some sort of eatery, easily accessible, within your budget, with a varied menu, tables for two (avoid communal benches) and unlikely to be invaded by a crowd out on a stag night or, even worse, a hen-party!
Of course there are plenty of other meeting places but it really is best to avoid graveyards at night, deserted underground car-parks, anywhere derelict and your grandmother’s living room.
A friend of mine swears by the bowling alley, another likes ice-skating (it’s a good way to “accidentally” fall into each other’s arms) and, if you’ve the wherewithal, casinos can be great fun. The problem is that one’s competitive spirit is not always one’s most attractive feature so it might be better to leave games to a second or third date to avoid damaging their sweet little egos.
Let’s examine the essential “C”s: caution, cleanliness, comfort and confidence, conversation, courtesy,
CAUTION: is sensible. Whilst most people totally genuine, take a few basic precautions. Tell someone where you are going giving them the basic contact details including, if possible, your date’s cell phone number. Meet somewhere very public; under the station clock is a cliché but a good standby although it’s best to meet at the venue. Never, ever get into their car nor go to their home however tempting.
If you feel the slightest bit threatened, remember that you are entitled to leave and get a friend to ring your cell-phone about thirty minutes into the date so you can make a polite excuse. Always take this call either to reassure them saying, ”Hi, can I ring you tomorrow?” Or, worst-case scenario: “What? Don’t panic, I’ll be there in ten minutes!” and disappear without taking questions.
Stick to your principles – someone somewhere must like the vagrant look.
CLEANLINESS: Maybe you’re, to put it politely, scruffy, believing deodorant damages the environment, hair will ultimately clean itself with its natural oils and that the removal of egg yolk globules from your faithful gardening cardigan is a bourgeois trait. You’re an uncompromising “love me, love my armpits” kinda person wanting to be appreciated for yourself. Ok, go for it. Stick to your principles – someone somewhere must like the vagrant look.
But maybe you could at least scrape the grime from under your fingernails and have a go at removing a fair proportion of last night’s chowmein from your beard. Being yourself is one thing but whilst natural pheromones can be attractive, stale sweat is rarely an aphrodisiac. However, there’s no need to dive into a bath of neat cologne – unless you want to risk spending several hours in the emergency room sorting out your date’s anaphylactic episode.
